you know when you're about to make a big life change... like moving to another country, or starting a new job, or getting married, or... having a baby... you just can't go through the motions of regular life in the hours and days before that change is imminent. i just can't go through the motions. i don't care about work. i don't care about laundry. i just want to be a mommy.
so instead of my own thoughts, i'm borrowing this poem, written by a friend of mine:
-
she stays the night awake
often attentive
from changing to feeding to cradling to humming
she wanders into the room quietly
to check on the child sound asleep
her presence fills the room
o she is ani nah
-
leaning ever so gently
over the child coughing
how many times she comes by
in the night to pull up the blankets
over the sleeping child
over the years
ani nah
-
the number of her footprints unknown
awaited often is her baking, her sewing,
her preserved berries
a rare treat, her bannock, her blankets
she is growing beyond her years
her hair is getting thin with grey
-
wisdom speaks from the heart that greets
another small child's hands to cradle
yet another tiny hand
o they grow fast she smiles
o ani nah...
-
i look at the tiny spark of light flickering in her eyes
i cradled this bundle
in my now wrinkled hands
it is
motherhood
-Molly Chisaakay
(ani nah means mother in the Dené Tha' language)