so. tuesday morning i had my first appointment at the fertility clinic.
no squirt or anything. just meet doctor, get swabbed, get pile of paperwork and bloodwork requisitions. etc.
but. i was sitting in the waiting room. and remembering sitting there 2 years ago with neela. frustrated and scared. waiting, wanting. and this time? so excited. just. thinking "this is where/how we got ella!!!!!!" where we placed our order, you know, for "just a baby, please. any baby." and got? the most perfect human being on earth. so sitting in there i got so excited. like. i'm going to get pregnant! and get ella a sister or a brother! how amazing is that?!
and.
just. how. we thought pregnancy was scary. frustrating. exciting. wonderful. and it was nothing. compared to this. being a mom. you know?
